Nightmares

Ever since I’ve been in D.C., I’ve had a dream about Clark and a dream about Versace man. In both of these dreams, there was some type of vehicle accident involved.

To dream of a car accident symbolizes your emotional state. You may be harboring deep anxieties and fears. Are you “driving” yourself too hard? Perhaps you need to slow down before you hit disaster. You need to rethink or re-plan your course of actions and set yourself on a better path. Dreaming that someone is injured in a car accident means that you cannot control the action of others. They have to live with the consequences of their own decisions.

If you dream that you die from a car accident and actually see the reactions of your loved ones, then it suggests that your reckless activity is affecting those around you. This dream is a wake-up call.

In my dream with Clark, we were riding motorcycles in some Balkan country and we both crashed our motos in a ditch. We start walking to a nearby bar and start drinking and talking. That’s all I remember.

In my dream with Versace man, there’s a party happening at my house and he’s there with his girlfriend. I’m so confused I leave and drive away. When I drive away, I get into an accident but I’m fine. I drive my car back home and I see Versace Man again and I just look at him. I don’t talk to him and I walk away from him.

Why am I having these dreams? I thought I was over these two. I really thought I was. Maybe the accidents mean that I am finally ending that chapter and I’m ready to move on? I have no idea. I don’t like these dreams and they just make me more confused when I’m awake.

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Know yourself

I forgot who I was.

Don’t forget who you are and where you come from. If you hide who you are and your past, people are going to find out. Be true and don’t be someone you’re not. For me, I can never be normal. I wanted to be normal and I learned that I can never be normal.

Gone, Gone, Gone

I suppose this is a natural reaction to news like this. One of my close friends passed away earlier this week by her own hand and I recently found out a few hours ago. I’m sad knowing that she did it. I don’t really understand why. This woman has been there for me. She was just 57 years old.

When I moved to DC, she was there for me. She made sure to have dinner with me once a week. She was like a mother to me. She made DC home for me. I just wish I could have done the same. The last time I saw her, it was this past summer in July. We spent hours with each other. Trying to make up for lost time. She always showed me kindness. And, that gives me a lot of inspiration. She was always there for me when I needed her. That is something that I will cherish. The lessons that she indirectly taught me will remain with me. I hope where ever you are, you’re in a better place. You’ve made a part of my life better and I thank you for that. I’ll see you on the other side and I’ll always love you.

Never forget

It’s Memorial Day. I went to St. Louis to go to a wedding of an old family friend. On the way, I stopped by my Great Aunt’s house and her family that was taking care of her. Her family hasn’t seen me in ten years since the passing of my grandmother and all of a sudden, I’m knocking on a random door in Kansas City hoping that I have the right place. Thankfully, it was the right house. They didn’t recognize for a couple of seconds until I told them who I was and why I was there. They let me in to see my Great Aunt and welcomed me like the years never passed by. It was a good feeling. I felt happy.
 
The only sad thing though was that my Great Aunt isn’t as well as I thought. I barely recognized her and I couldn’t understand her. I was a bit sad because the words I could make out were not the happiest things I’ve heard her say. She had difficulties hearing and a few times, I thought she didn’t even understand my Vietnamese. I felt frustrated and thought that she didn’t remember me at all. My Aunt and her husband are taking care of her and they were so kind. I’m glad that they didn’t take the surprise as offensive. I didn’t know their number! We caught up on the years and I just felt so happy. I believe you can love someone instantly under some circumstances. After a while, my Great Aunt says something to me and she says that she knows me from a wedding that I went to in Texas. It was kind of a touchy moment. She thanked me for visiting her and that this was probably the last time I would ever see her alive. It makes me sad that she said that. No one knows when we’ll move on from this life. Tell people you love them often and never forget how they impacted your life.